Roller blading in China

I gave my talk today in sacrament meeting. I spoke about "Friends" from the strength of youth pamphlet.

I thought I got up at 6:00 this morning, but it was really 7:00 and so Amanda thought I was late to meet her and grab a taxi, but it was just a blonde moment for me.

Morgan is here laying on my pillow at this moment while I create my blog post. She was crying while I had to help feed Ethan and so she was all alone. In my talk I explained that one of my most favorite people is my sister, she is my best BEST friend and that is why I named her Morgan. After only a week, we have realized they have all fit their names perfectly. I was going to name Morgan "Joanna." I am glad I didn't.

Yesterday morning I woke up at 4:25 and I went to the basketball court to roller blade and (of course) play with my new basketball. Many people that walked by were only up so early because they were going to work, or they were exercising. One man made his dog go where he was going just so he could just stand and stare at the weird American girl.

I could understand why people would just stop and stare. I was very blonde. I had straitened my hair the day before and it was very shiny and wavy. I was also in very nice roller blades that went very fast around the court and so it must have looked very strange to see such an athletic blonde head on a basketball court, rollerblading so early in the morning in China.

Now it is Sunday in the afternoon and Eathan laughed at me. I got a picture and even a video of it. he is starting to get a little more comfortable here, and so am I, a little too comfortable. :)

Mat

Hospital Visit

Here at Starfish I have witnessed a large number of problems people have had to work through. We are low on volunteers, the babies are getting sicker and two are in the hospital, but the sun comes up and we all get through the day. Some day's are emotional, others are bitter sweet. When a child is adopted, it affects many people here, and when a child dies from a disease, infection, or hunger, it affects all of us. '

When we were told Celine had passed away, we could still tell (somehow) that this news was not true, and in fact, it wasn't true. I think there are things in life we will never explain, and will never understand. That feeling of faith and hope came from somewhere, but the question is "from where?" I believe, when a miracle happens, it comes from a heartfelt prayer, and no matter how small that prayer is, that blessing still comes. The hospital was poor. It was very large and well built, but unsanitary and ugly on the inside. There was a sense of death and sickness where ever you went. Nobody smiled, or said hello, nobody showed any sign of life, because the feeling was no more than a small sign of pain and discomfort. I was glad when we arrived on the 3rd floor to see Celine and David. I had never held Celine before, nor David. Rachel Smith (the teacher from Britain) is leaving us on Sunday to go back to her home in Nottingham. She fell in love with David the first day he arrived at Starfish. She was the only one
to hold him and of course everyone had no hard feelings about that. Both the babies will come home in a couple days.

When I held Celine, she seemed too weak to carry. Surprisingly, she was strong enough to cry in my arms. :) You may not see it on my face, but I was silently crying as she looked at me. She was too small. Over and over again I herd the words, "How can some one let this happen to a child, let her get so sick that she can not even breath on her own. We all knew sometimes it wasn't anybody's fault, but this child was abandoned and close to death because of carelessness. She was three months old and weighed only about 6 pounds. The first picture is of when we got back to the foster home, all the kids were in a line waiting for our arrival, we took pictures and said hi, but when we had to leave, they sobbed dramatically.

I love the experiences I have had while in Xian, but to see the babies in the hospital was unexpected and inhumane. We left the hospital and. I stayed home to write about the day while everyone went out to eat Indian food. Rachel also stayed. She is feeling sad about leaving David, but she said that if he makes it to his first birthday, she will be there for it.

I would give anything to be here for it too.








Mat

New Babies

Soon after being at Starfish, me and all the other volunteers found out we were going to be taking care of six new babies that were going to be taken in from another orphanage in Ulin. You could see the excitement in all our faces as we waited for the them to arrive that evening. We were told they would be here between 3:00 pm and 4:00 pm, but they hadn't arrived yet. We waited quietly and impatiently for them to arrive. We had all our cameras out and some were even turned on for minutes at a time. Nobody said anything unless it was about the babies we were going to be taking care of for at least three weeks before they were well enough to be with all the other babies. Finally, as I paced back an forth, the door flung open dramatically and, one by one, they came through the door being held by their nannies.

Amanda put numbers on each one to keep track of all of them. After one would be numbered, she would yell out "Ok, who wants to hold this one?" Then one of the volunteers would spring out of the crowd and take the small little thing from one of the nannies. Finally they were all numbered, and I still hadn't held any of them. I stood there and took pictures but felt left out. All were without names, all were skinny and dirty and all had something, or some reason why they were orphaned.

One volunteer finally let me hold a baby. This small little thing remained calm as we passed her from one person to the other. She glowed. Her eyes were the darkest I have ever seen. She stared deep into mine. I smiled, but she did not smile back. She looked so innocent. I took another long look at her. I felt her tiny feet as I rocked her back and forth. I couldn't see anything abnormal about her. She had no cleft pallet, there was no heart condition, she was just there. I fell in love with her. She was different from the others because she was normal. It was odd to see such a beautiful baby placed here in an orphanage filled with babies with problems who might have never even been alive if it weren't for Amanda.

Of course this little thing would still be alive, but she wouldn't be here in my arms. It was a wonderful experience from the time they walked through the door, to now.I could have been an hour away at the panda resort staying in a hotel. I could have been taking pictures of baby pandas, but I expected nothing more to be a part of while in an orphanage. I expected nothing better. I stayed in the apartment and took pictures of these babies. It was great to share such an experience with everyone here, but then I remembered how much more wonderful it would have been if my sister were there. I can only imagine the look on her face while holding these precious little things. Yes, Morgan should have been here.

That night, as we took turns holding all six babies, the one remained in my arms. The two boys were finally named. One, Daniel, one Ethan. Then, Laura, one of the volunteers, picked out the name, Jane, for the spina-bifida baby, who had a large sack on her back that was still tender and needed a lot of care. She is also very beautiful.

There was one baby apart from the others who did not seem like she would live through the night. Her breathing was horrible. Amanda made an appointment at the hospital in two days. Steven (another volunteer) named her after his niece, Celine. Then we voted on Michelle for the cleft lip baby. She is a cutey as well. The last one that needed a name was in my arms. Amanda looked at me and said "Well, the name, whats her name Mattie?", I replyed ... "Morgan". Finally, we had cleaned them, weighed them, fed and changed them and then settled down to hold and rock them to sleep. We took shifts all night long to take care of the babies, me and another volunteer took the first shift from 12:00 am to 1:00am. They call Morgan "my baby" now. I keep telling them "she is every ones responsibility and I just picked the name" but I feel like it's true now. She's mine.

The next morning, Celine was getting worse. Steve and his girl friend (Roshney) took her to the emergency room. We waited to hear from them. One of the nannies came in with bad news and told us she had passed away. She said she was 99 percent sure this news was true. That one little percent lead everyone to believe she was still alive. The next two hours were quiet and awkward with worrying. We had a nice meal. As we sat around the table, the phone rang. Someone picked it up. "Hello?" he asked, "Ok, thank you so much.", and then put the phone down. I felt a sink in my stomach until he said "She's fine!" My stomach floated back up. We enjoyed the night and celebrated. The rest of the time was enjoyable and we laughed realizing our great fortune.

Morgan smiles now, she loves the attention and I still don't even want to think of the day I have to leave her and move forward to more experiences and more adventures I know I won't forget, but this, this will never ever ever....ever replace all those new life experiences I know will soon come my way.

Mat :)