Hospital Visit

Here at Starfish I have witnessed a large number of problems people have had to work through. We are low on volunteers, the babies are getting sicker and two are in the hospital, but the sun comes up and we all get through the day. Some day's are emotional, others are bitter sweet. When a child is adopted, it affects many people here, and when a child dies from a disease, infection, or hunger, it affects all of us. '

When we were told Celine had passed away, we could still tell (somehow) that this news was not true, and in fact, it wasn't true. I think there are things in life we will never explain, and will never understand. That feeling of faith and hope came from somewhere, but the question is "from where?" I believe, when a miracle happens, it comes from a heartfelt prayer, and no matter how small that prayer is, that blessing still comes. The hospital was poor. It was very large and well built, but unsanitary and ugly on the inside. There was a sense of death and sickness where ever you went. Nobody smiled, or said hello, nobody showed any sign of life, because the feeling was no more than a small sign of pain and discomfort. I was glad when we arrived on the 3rd floor to see Celine and David. I had never held Celine before, nor David. Rachel Smith (the teacher from Britain) is leaving us on Sunday to go back to her home in Nottingham. She fell in love with David the first day he arrived at Starfish. She was the only one
to hold him and of course everyone had no hard feelings about that. Both the babies will come home in a couple days.

When I held Celine, she seemed too weak to carry. Surprisingly, she was strong enough to cry in my arms. :) You may not see it on my face, but I was silently crying as she looked at me. She was too small. Over and over again I herd the words, "How can some one let this happen to a child, let her get so sick that she can not even breath on her own. We all knew sometimes it wasn't anybody's fault, but this child was abandoned and close to death because of carelessness. She was three months old and weighed only about 6 pounds. The first picture is of when we got back to the foster home, all the kids were in a line waiting for our arrival, we took pictures and said hi, but when we had to leave, they sobbed dramatically.

I love the experiences I have had while in Xian, but to see the babies in the hospital was unexpected and inhumane. We left the hospital and. I stayed home to write about the day while everyone went out to eat Indian food. Rachel also stayed. She is feeling sad about leaving David, but she said that if he makes it to his first birthday, she will be there for it.

I would give anything to be here for it too.








Mat