About me

I grew up in Orem Utah. I have naturally blond hair. I have been studying Entomology for almost 7 years. I love to hike and go back packing in hot deserted places. My favorite part of the week is Fridays. I am 17 years old born in 1994 in June. I absolutely love the outdoors, usually when it is stormy or very windy. I love to play volleyball and basketball. I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. I have played the cello for 7 years. My favorite TV series is "Fire Fly" by Joss Whedon.

I spent three months in 3 parts of china last year. I was mostly home schooled before meridian.

I love to read history books.

I can speak and write a little Chinese.

The end.

I painted my bothrer black a couple days ago. Doesn't he look like and Avatar? ha ha, It was pretty fun

I've taken up drawing again. Maybe it's just a phase but it feels good.
On a road trip with my dad, we stopped in North Dakota and walked
around a small little town. We came to a book store and one book cot my
eye in such an intense way, I had to own it. My dad was extremely
impressed with the photography in the book and agreed to purchased it.
The book was filled with photographs of natural art and the people that
display it so well. There beautiful skin is perfect for what they do
with nature, such as leaves, mud, flowers, grass, seeds, fruit and hand
made paint is covered around there bodies ins such an artistic way. I have been studying these people often. I found out that
they usually decorate for fun and camouflage, but in the early times,
they usually did it for war and hunting. These people are examples of
truly living in the wild.

I envy them.

A lot of the time I think back on China with guilt, as if I hadn't done enough for anyone, but I can't complain for the opportunity.

I had a little moment a couple of days ago. I realized that what made me happy in China was the knowledge I was gaining and knowing I was actually doing something with my life. When I came back, I lost the weight I gained kind of just went on with life here, but then I started to feel useless again, I enrolled for Orchestra, Chinese, P.E and Seminary, and still, I can't stand not having the excitement and thrill I had while I was gone.

I feel so empty and useless.

A couple days ago, I realized I had developed an anger issue.
No body realized my vase, but if they would have, I know my parents might of taken me to a shrink.

I hadn't gotten any sleep the day before and I felt worse about it after I got home from school, so I comfortably lied down in my parents bed and watched Television while Morgan was in the other room and everyone else was out of the house.

Suddenly, over and over again, the phone would ring. I would sometimes be so agitated that i wouldn't pick it up and my anger began to rise more and more, but when U got one last phone call, I grudgingly picked it up, answered it and on the other line was my brother telling me that him and his class mate needed to be picked up from their Ballet class all the way on the other side of Provo!

I calmly told him I would be rite there and so I don't think he suspected anything, but when Igot my shoes on I began to look for the truck keys. I couldn't find them anywhere. I remembered putting them in my gray coat when I got home from school.

Not once did I blame myself for not hanging them up in the first place. 10 minutes went by. I asked Morgan what I should do. I was ready to actually attack her if she didn't immediately help me. I controled m6y self for a coupe seconds fut felt like bursting out in tears.

Morgan asked me if I looked "EVERY WHERE"! I though I had. I went back in my parents room where I know I had throne off my shoes and might of dumped my jacket. sure enough, the keys were on the other side of the bed almost hidden underneath. I pulled them out of the pocket as quick as I could.

I remember thinking "if they weren't in the pocket, I would have just got back inn bed and watched TV" while I happily thought about Bridger and his friend Lizzy walk home in darkness.

Before I did find the keys though, I began to chuck a couple things around the house. I back lashed a plastic container so hard I nearly snapped in in half on impact. I found two of my Jackets on the counter. I thought "fine mom! I'll get theses of the counter and make you happy!"

So I grabbed both of them at the same time and through them across the dining room as hard as I could. Not even one second after, I realized that inside the pocket of one of these jackets, was my digital camera I bought in Jinan China.

I froze for a second, then casually walked over and took out my camera to see the damage. It still worked and could take just as good pictures as it could before, but the top was bent open and you could see the inside wiring. Also, the images looked cracked, even though they would turn up fine if I transferred the pics on the computer.

I careful placed my camera on the kitchen table. My heart would not beat and it felt like the universe was against me. All of this happened while Morgan was sitting comfortably on her bed listening to music, so I new she hadn't herd anything, but she might have felt a couple vibrations and mistaken them for tiny earthquakes.

I grabbed the keys and stormed out to the car. "I blame Bridger for all of this" I thought, and wen I shut the car door, I closeed my eyes and released a loud "AAAaaah"!!! It was so hi picked my ears hurt afterward.

I emotionally felt better after that and was able to pick Bridger and Lizzy up , drop Lizzy off at her house and drive home with my brother, not once, attacking him!

The rest of the day was quiet and wen I told my dad how stupidly I broke my camera, he said he was glad I was such a fire ball "And I hope you never change."

North Dakota

I learned a lot in China. Apart from learning about China Geologically, I must of learned more about myself.

It doesn't seem strange to be home, but I do feel different. I feel much more confident.

I have been home almost two weeks. Immediately, I went back to my normal everyday routine. I play the cello every chance I get, I eat dinner with the family, I draw and i read. Occasionally, I tell stories about What I had done or experienced in china to who ever wants to know.

One thing I worried about in China was my family. I always wondered what was happening back home while I was sleeping. I was even worried about my dad.

He drives a large red Hauling truck for a living.

I prayed every night for him to return home safely after his long journeys our of state.

He never new (or may never know) how much I really worried.

His next trip is on the way to North Dakota. We passed through Idaho yesterday and now we are passing through Montana. The beauty is extraordinary. These tiny farms are so simple and peaceful looking. Every once in a while, my dad would tell me "now this is where we should live" and I would reply back and say "Ya, its really pretty here."

I don't talk to him very much, or to anyone. I just listen most of the time and sometimes he will ask me questions about what I think.

I'm sure he feels like he is talking to a wall, but I'm a good listener and that mus be why I might make a good journalist.

NEXT DAY

Yesterday, after finding out we would have to stay overnight in Montana, we explored the small town and the little street with nice little stores that sold nice little things. My dad seems to like small towns.

PRESENT DAY.

We finally arrived in North Dakota this morning around 8:00.

The dirt is lobster red and my dad says we are out in the boonies.

That's just his opinion.

Sure, there are no mountains, barely anyone lives here and it seems like it would be hard to grow livestock.

If I lived here, what would I do for entertainment? Where would I go to explore and could it ever be home?

To many of these people, it seems like it could.

In 3r movie of "lion king", the baboon says Timone"look beyond what you see,: so, he does. He finds himself in a completely different world. Unlike living underground in the middle of no where, it was paradise for Timone. But if you looked as far as you could in North Dakota, you could see so far, you might realize how much land can actually be explored, how much there really is before the beyond part.

But that's just my opinion.

So, we are on our way back. We will pick another load up in Wyoming.

A Moms' Feelings

Madison asked me write something about how I feel about having a daughter gone at such a young age. I thought I should do it since today she comes home and tomorrow it won't quite be the same. I can hardly sit here calmly without wanting to run around the house screaming, I am so excited!

I knew from the time Madison was little that she was a very unique person and would do unique things. It has been very good for our relationship that we were together for most of her life. We needed to come to terms with how to be a mother and a daughter peaceably. I believe that if she had gone to school it would have been very easy for me to dismiss working out our problems. But it was when she turned 8 it all began to get better. She became much more mature at talking things out and trying to see another point of view. I remember she wanted to learn about plants. We got her some seeds and some plants that she would plant around the yard and tend them. She had a fish that she doted on. I think she eventually killedthe fish as the water was always continually being changed. She would cry herself to sleep because she wanted a cat so badly. Her dad finally gave in and they went down and adopted Charlotte that she has taken care of with such devotion. When she was 12 her grandparents were lamenting that they wished one of their grandchildren would want to go to China and learn Chinese. Madison was sitting there, her quiet little self. She said quietly, "I'll go." and from that moment on it was about all she thought about. She studied Chinese formally and informally. She wrote characters with pencil, pen markers, she even embroidered them. Finally after about 3 1/2 years we found a place she could go. All our efforts up till then were fruitless when it came to finding a safe place for her to be in China. We couldn't make any headway with how to get her there and with whom she could live. Amanda de Lange was featured in the BYU magazine for receiving the humanitarian of the year award at the university. She runs an orphanage in Xi'an, China and in the article it mentioned volunteers. Madison was breathless when she wrote to Amanda asking if she could come and volunteer being just 15 at the time. Amanda graciously wrote back and said of course she could come, they would love to have her. We couldn't believe it. We were so excited! Finally the dream would come true.

As time neared for her to go, I was feeling very hollow in my soul that we wouldn't have her with us for possibly a year. Her plane ticket was bought. She was to leave in a week. We made a quick trip to the Unitahs for one last hurrah with our backpacks. She left on a Tuesday and she was to arrive at 12:30 at night our time after about 24 hours of traveling and waiting in airports. About 10:30 am China time. When I hadn't heard from her by 1:30 am I called the orphanage. The Chinese woman that I spoke with spoke English very well. She said they weren't expecting any volunteers that day but that if someone was coming she had heard that all the flights were very late. I felt a panic come over me. I paced the house. I called the airline, the airport, no answer. I checked online. The flight had landed on time. I was just going to call the U.S. consulate when I thought I'd try the orphanage one more time. A different woman answered that didn't speak English. She giggled as I tried to communicate. She hung up. I called back. The same thing happened. I called again. She handed the phone to someone else who giggled too. They hung up again. I tried again and finally the woman who spoke English, the most beautiful voice I had ever heard told me that she had just arrived and was in the shower. She told me to call back in 10 minutes and Madison would answer the phone. When I finally talked with her, it was terrifying to hear that no one had picked her up from the airport. The orphanage had the wrong day.

As time passed, she had wonderful experiences. She had times when she had to think hard and figure things out. She had to count more on herself than she ever had in her life before. She had rely on Heavenly Father. She was magnificent with His help.

I went to Peru when I was sixteen. I stayed there for 11 months. It changed my whole outlook on the world and my place in it. I was forever changed to view my fellow creatures as actual children of God who were loved by Him just as He loved me. It made me realize what was really important in life and, thankfully, I have never forgotten that.

I have wanted all my children to have an experience like I had. Madison was the first to make the attempt and I am curious to find out how this will change her.

I have missed her terribly. She is the one that can take her younger brothers and sister and keep them entertained for hours in friendly concentration. I have missed seeing her daily creations of pinned bugs or drawings. I have so missed hearing her play the cello; those deep sonorous sounds wafting through the house. Visiting her in her room, immaculate and beautiful.

Her dad and I have held our breath quite a few times waiting to hear the outcome of her adventures from day to day. Skype is such a blessing. I think I will write a thank you letter to it's creator.

We leave for the airport in about 3 hours to pick her up. If her plane is on time, we will rush to the church where she will get in on the last few minutes of the girls volleyball game and surprise everyone. I can't wait!!!