A lot of the time I think back on China with guilt, as if I hadn't done enough for anyone, but I can't complain for the opportunity.

I had a little moment a couple of days ago. I realized that what made me happy in China was the knowledge I was gaining and knowing I was actually doing something with my life. When I came back, I lost the weight I gained kind of just went on with life here, but then I started to feel useless again, I enrolled for Orchestra, Chinese, P.E and Seminary, and still, I can't stand not having the excitement and thrill I had while I was gone.

I feel so empty and useless.

A couple days ago, I realized I had developed an anger issue.
No body realized my vase, but if they would have, I know my parents might of taken me to a shrink.

I hadn't gotten any sleep the day before and I felt worse about it after I got home from school, so I comfortably lied down in my parents bed and watched Television while Morgan was in the other room and everyone else was out of the house.

Suddenly, over and over again, the phone would ring. I would sometimes be so agitated that i wouldn't pick it up and my anger began to rise more and more, but when U got one last phone call, I grudgingly picked it up, answered it and on the other line was my brother telling me that him and his class mate needed to be picked up from their Ballet class all the way on the other side of Provo!

I calmly told him I would be rite there and so I don't think he suspected anything, but when Igot my shoes on I began to look for the truck keys. I couldn't find them anywhere. I remembered putting them in my gray coat when I got home from school.

Not once did I blame myself for not hanging them up in the first place. 10 minutes went by. I asked Morgan what I should do. I was ready to actually attack her if she didn't immediately help me. I controled m6y self for a coupe seconds fut felt like bursting out in tears.

Morgan asked me if I looked "EVERY WHERE"! I though I had. I went back in my parents room where I know I had throne off my shoes and might of dumped my jacket. sure enough, the keys were on the other side of the bed almost hidden underneath. I pulled them out of the pocket as quick as I could.

I remember thinking "if they weren't in the pocket, I would have just got back inn bed and watched TV" while I happily thought about Bridger and his friend Lizzy walk home in darkness.

Before I did find the keys though, I began to chuck a couple things around the house. I back lashed a plastic container so hard I nearly snapped in in half on impact. I found two of my Jackets on the counter. I thought "fine mom! I'll get theses of the counter and make you happy!"

So I grabbed both of them at the same time and through them across the dining room as hard as I could. Not even one second after, I realized that inside the pocket of one of these jackets, was my digital camera I bought in Jinan China.

I froze for a second, then casually walked over and took out my camera to see the damage. It still worked and could take just as good pictures as it could before, but the top was bent open and you could see the inside wiring. Also, the images looked cracked, even though they would turn up fine if I transferred the pics on the computer.

I careful placed my camera on the kitchen table. My heart would not beat and it felt like the universe was against me. All of this happened while Morgan was sitting comfortably on her bed listening to music, so I new she hadn't herd anything, but she might have felt a couple vibrations and mistaken them for tiny earthquakes.

I grabbed the keys and stormed out to the car. "I blame Bridger for all of this" I thought, and wen I shut the car door, I closeed my eyes and released a loud "AAAaaah"!!! It was so hi picked my ears hurt afterward.

I emotionally felt better after that and was able to pick Bridger and Lizzy up , drop Lizzy off at her house and drive home with my brother, not once, attacking him!

The rest of the day was quiet and wen I told my dad how stupidly I broke my camera, he said he was glad I was such a fire ball "And I hope you never change."

North Dakota

I learned a lot in China. Apart from learning about China Geologically, I must of learned more about myself.

It doesn't seem strange to be home, but I do feel different. I feel much more confident.

I have been home almost two weeks. Immediately, I went back to my normal everyday routine. I play the cello every chance I get, I eat dinner with the family, I draw and i read. Occasionally, I tell stories about What I had done or experienced in china to who ever wants to know.

One thing I worried about in China was my family. I always wondered what was happening back home while I was sleeping. I was even worried about my dad.

He drives a large red Hauling truck for a living.

I prayed every night for him to return home safely after his long journeys our of state.

He never new (or may never know) how much I really worried.

His next trip is on the way to North Dakota. We passed through Idaho yesterday and now we are passing through Montana. The beauty is extraordinary. These tiny farms are so simple and peaceful looking. Every once in a while, my dad would tell me "now this is where we should live" and I would reply back and say "Ya, its really pretty here."

I don't talk to him very much, or to anyone. I just listen most of the time and sometimes he will ask me questions about what I think.

I'm sure he feels like he is talking to a wall, but I'm a good listener and that mus be why I might make a good journalist.

NEXT DAY

Yesterday, after finding out we would have to stay overnight in Montana, we explored the small town and the little street with nice little stores that sold nice little things. My dad seems to like small towns.

PRESENT DAY.

We finally arrived in North Dakota this morning around 8:00.

The dirt is lobster red and my dad says we are out in the boonies.

That's just his opinion.

Sure, there are no mountains, barely anyone lives here and it seems like it would be hard to grow livestock.

If I lived here, what would I do for entertainment? Where would I go to explore and could it ever be home?

To many of these people, it seems like it could.

In 3r movie of "lion king", the baboon says Timone"look beyond what you see,: so, he does. He finds himself in a completely different world. Unlike living underground in the middle of no where, it was paradise for Timone. But if you looked as far as you could in North Dakota, you could see so far, you might realize how much land can actually be explored, how much there really is before the beyond part.

But that's just my opinion.

So, we are on our way back. We will pick another load up in Wyoming.

A Moms' Feelings

Madison asked me write something about how I feel about having a daughter gone at such a young age. I thought I should do it since today she comes home and tomorrow it won't quite be the same. I can hardly sit here calmly without wanting to run around the house screaming, I am so excited!

I knew from the time Madison was little that she was a very unique person and would do unique things. It has been very good for our relationship that we were together for most of her life. We needed to come to terms with how to be a mother and a daughter peaceably. I believe that if she had gone to school it would have been very easy for me to dismiss working out our problems. But it was when she turned 8 it all began to get better. She became much more mature at talking things out and trying to see another point of view. I remember she wanted to learn about plants. We got her some seeds and some plants that she would plant around the yard and tend them. She had a fish that she doted on. I think she eventually killedthe fish as the water was always continually being changed. She would cry herself to sleep because she wanted a cat so badly. Her dad finally gave in and they went down and adopted Charlotte that she has taken care of with such devotion. When she was 12 her grandparents were lamenting that they wished one of their grandchildren would want to go to China and learn Chinese. Madison was sitting there, her quiet little self. She said quietly, "I'll go." and from that moment on it was about all she thought about. She studied Chinese formally and informally. She wrote characters with pencil, pen markers, she even embroidered them. Finally after about 3 1/2 years we found a place she could go. All our efforts up till then were fruitless when it came to finding a safe place for her to be in China. We couldn't make any headway with how to get her there and with whom she could live. Amanda de Lange was featured in the BYU magazine for receiving the humanitarian of the year award at the university. She runs an orphanage in Xi'an, China and in the article it mentioned volunteers. Madison was breathless when she wrote to Amanda asking if she could come and volunteer being just 15 at the time. Amanda graciously wrote back and said of course she could come, they would love to have her. We couldn't believe it. We were so excited! Finally the dream would come true.

As time neared for her to go, I was feeling very hollow in my soul that we wouldn't have her with us for possibly a year. Her plane ticket was bought. She was to leave in a week. We made a quick trip to the Unitahs for one last hurrah with our backpacks. She left on a Tuesday and she was to arrive at 12:30 at night our time after about 24 hours of traveling and waiting in airports. About 10:30 am China time. When I hadn't heard from her by 1:30 am I called the orphanage. The Chinese woman that I spoke with spoke English very well. She said they weren't expecting any volunteers that day but that if someone was coming she had heard that all the flights were very late. I felt a panic come over me. I paced the house. I called the airline, the airport, no answer. I checked online. The flight had landed on time. I was just going to call the U.S. consulate when I thought I'd try the orphanage one more time. A different woman answered that didn't speak English. She giggled as I tried to communicate. She hung up. I called back. The same thing happened. I called again. She handed the phone to someone else who giggled too. They hung up again. I tried again and finally the woman who spoke English, the most beautiful voice I had ever heard told me that she had just arrived and was in the shower. She told me to call back in 10 minutes and Madison would answer the phone. When I finally talked with her, it was terrifying to hear that no one had picked her up from the airport. The orphanage had the wrong day.

As time passed, she had wonderful experiences. She had times when she had to think hard and figure things out. She had to count more on herself than she ever had in her life before. She had rely on Heavenly Father. She was magnificent with His help.

I went to Peru when I was sixteen. I stayed there for 11 months. It changed my whole outlook on the world and my place in it. I was forever changed to view my fellow creatures as actual children of God who were loved by Him just as He loved me. It made me realize what was really important in life and, thankfully, I have never forgotten that.

I have wanted all my children to have an experience like I had. Madison was the first to make the attempt and I am curious to find out how this will change her.

I have missed her terribly. She is the one that can take her younger brothers and sister and keep them entertained for hours in friendly concentration. I have missed seeing her daily creations of pinned bugs or drawings. I have so missed hearing her play the cello; those deep sonorous sounds wafting through the house. Visiting her in her room, immaculate and beautiful.

Her dad and I have held our breath quite a few times waiting to hear the outcome of her adventures from day to day. Skype is such a blessing. I think I will write a thank you letter to it's creator.

We leave for the airport in about 3 hours to pick her up. If her plane is on time, we will rush to the church where she will get in on the last few minutes of the girls volleyball game and surprise everyone. I can't wait!!!

The Sights and Smells of China

After a wedding we went to this morning, we bought our train tickets to Beijing. Lai Si squealed all the way home with excitement. I am very excited to go to Beijing tomorrow, but if I attempted to squeal that high and loud, my brain would explode. I was able to withdrawal 1300 Kauai from the ATM machine at the bank, but I spent 300 in only one hour. I needed to pay Lai Si for buying my camera card so I could tape her friends wedding with my new awesome Olympus camera I got here in China. I don't want to leave China. I would actually rather stay for the rest of the time I thought I had, which was about 7 more months, but if I am going to go early, this would be the time to do it. It is going to get very cold in Jinan soon, and my clothes don't allow me to dress warm enough. I also didn't want to buy expensive new clothes. It's not my money, it's my mom's and dad's, and they have already spend hundreds of dollars to keep me comfortable here. My volleyball team has their fourth game on Thursday. When I return to America, the first place I will be going is our church gym, where I will surprise my team and play my favorite sport again. After the game, I will give my family their gifts and immediately start playing my cello. It will be like recuperating from all the energy I lost not playing for three months. One of my goals in life was to stand on the Great Wall of China. I am excited to pronounce to you that one out of hundreds of my goals will be accomplished in only a couple of days. This may not have even been me that accomplished it at all. I am only 16 and wasn't even able to buy my own supplies to pack when I left. My family and host family were the ones, and are the ones, that have gotten me here. I know they all did it out of love for me. Being here makes me feel so grateful for the things I have. Yesterday was the second to last night I would be in Jinan. It was the most beautiful day I have ever seen in my life. The sky was clear and blue in the evening when we went to the Da Min Hua lake and I was able to see such wonderful sculptures as the sun faded and beautified them even more. The stars came out early, and the city seemed more quiet than usual. We drove to a friends house after seeing the beautiful lake. Lai Si's friend lived how many of the Chinese people are forced to live, in broken down buildings that looked to be hundreds of years old. I had seen these buildings before, but didn't know people lived in them. We drove through the alley ways. The air was so clear, I could smell the home cooking coming from all the open windows. I waited outside as Lai Si's husband went in a large old building looking for their friend, which was where she had to live. He couldn't find her door because it was so dark inside. Lai Si and I went in while he stayed by the car. She knocked on her friends door. When she answered, I could here the television. We went inside. The first thing I saw was a little homemade sink. A very small cracked mirror hung by a nail on the brick wall. A large bowl of water was sitting on a tall stool under the mirror and I realized it was where they must have washed their face, brush their teeth and comb their hair, but they had no running water, and they must not of had a shower. Inside a room, I could see a bed crammed into the corner while the TV stood on some furniture on the other side of the room. The floors looked decently clean, and it seemed like they made it quite comfortable, but it was so small and dark inside. I felt like I was being surrounded by evil spirits. I walked out of their shelter and out to the largest room in the building. There were grape and melon vines hanging from the broken ceiling. The exit of the building had no door at all, and there were beautifully hand made pots lying on the floor. They looked very detailed but they were breaking from age. The moon beamed down through the large holes of the roof and the brick floor was crumbling under my feet as I walked back out to the car. The smells were amazing as we drove away. The buildings were old and breaking, but they had history and to me they were very beautiful and ancient. I told Lai Si I liked going through the alley ways and told her it was very beautiful. She just laughed at me and said something in Chinese to her husband as she giggled. That morning, when we went to the wedding, I dressed up nice. I was, of course the only foreigner there and many people who knew the word "hello" in English didn't hesitate to say it to me. I would say hello back, and then say something complicated in English afterwords to get them confused and feel embarrassed like I do sometimes.... Though it is cruel, it just makes me feel better. It was a wonderful week and in just three months, I feel like I have seen, experienced and done everything there is to do in a year! I have cried, laughed and growled. I have been peed on, thrown up on, stared and pointed at for hours at a time. I have been snapped at by thousands of different peoples cameras. I have been stolen from, spit on, begged, followed and even yelled at. I have experienced every feeling there is to feel here, even love, because when those kids at Star Fish smile at you, or give you a hug, that love bounces off them like the light bounces off the sun, and it lands in you heart immediately. Yes, I am going to miss China. I will moan for a couple weeks after I return home, but I love China. I love the people and the respect and attention they gave me. I love the sights, smells and sounds. I loved the challenges and blessings I received. I loved it all, andIi have a feeling, I'll be back again some day. So what's the last conclusion we will take from this adventure.... We came, We saw, We did and we did it! :) Mattie.

My Testimony

I am leaving China in about a week and a half. My family is excited, I am excited, my friends won't know until I get home, but here, what I am leaving behind, is something so special, it hurts to think I may never see this place again. I have met so many amazing and wonderful people here. Individuals I have lived with will be able to contact me on the internet, but the experiences we had together are now only memories, and so it is back to reality for us now. All the volunteers at the orphanage felt this way. I was there longer than any of them, and I watched, every couple weeks, as someone would have to leave the children and go back to their home, but not one had not felt the blessings that came from helping these kids.

I have felt the Spirit stronger than ever in China, and though I am coming home sooner then I had hoped, there will be many other opportunities in the future. I know that if I do what is right throughout my life, my testimony will grow as those experiences come and go, and the Spirit that has always been there for me, will grow and make itself known even more as well.

I have felt Heavenly Fathers love for me in difficult and scary situations. I have felt his assurance that He is with me and will never forget me when I need him the most. This is my (still growing) testimony to you and I testify that Heavenly Father lives and loves all of us.

The Chinese people are limited to a small portion of the knowledge of our Savior, but they are still loved and each one of these billions and billions of people are special in His eyes.

I have listened to general conference on the internet in English and in Chinese and I am so glad for the access I still have while so far away from home. My family has been a wonderful support and has helped me so much so that I can do the things I want to and to accomplish the goals I have set for myself. I love them very much, and I know that they wouldn't have done so much for me if they did not love me.

I want to thank my Grandparents, Larry and Mimi. They have played a huge role in the support I have had. I love you and will never forget what you have done for me. It is amazing to be walking in your footsteps and to see where you have gone and where you have taught in the university in Jinan.

Hearing President Monson's voice after I downloaded the first conference session helped me get through many days of homesickness and I am so blessed. I know he is our living prophet on the earth and he has had a huge impact on my life from his teachings and his great example and love for the Savior.

I want to experience many things, but through all of these experiences, I know they will not be happy unless I choose to let my Heavenly Gather in and guide me to stay on the right path.

I wish I could explain to my host family how much I love them and appreciate their help and hospitality. They have sacrificed a lot to make me comfortable and I am so grateful to them. I can only say "thank you very very much", but hope that I will, one day, be fluent in their language, come back and express my thanks to them. They are a wonderful family. They have taught me so much about how life is lived in China. They have also taught me how to spit like a Chinese individual, how to eat like one, how to bargain for food, how to stay safe in the scary alleys of Jinan, how to keep myself from being robbed and how to enjoy a place that many of you may not think possible to live in.

I want to be journalist. I hope that through these amazing months I have expressed my feelings in a way that will inspire you to go out and live your life in my writing. I want you to experience without fear and live how your Heavenly Father wants you to so that you can return to him and Jesus Christ again.

This is a story about a man who lived in china, came to the US and became Mormom. He is a great inspiration in my life.
http://mormon.org/me/13K6-eng

Fishing

This morning, when I went downstairs for breakfast, Lai Si's husband was gutting and cleaning fish in the kitchen. These fish had just been caught at the Yellow Waters on the other side of the city in the country area. They both did the motion of catching fish with a fishing pole. I told them I also liked to fish, and right then, Lai Si decided to call her son and tell him we should meet at the Yellow waters to spend the day fishing, but they were already there and so we left an hour later. The fish in the kitchen was actually caught that morning by Lai Si's son.

We drove through the city, past many deserted houses, over the "Yellow Water River" (the second largest river in China) and into the country side. Our driver honked for some men to open the gate that led into some brush and bamboo, so I could tell there was definitely water nearby, but that is not where we went first.

We passed these buildings made out to look like rock caves, but they were not being used by anyone for anything. On the side of some of the buildings, a fake tree would be carved into the side. The tree I saw near the road, as we when past, was made to look very old and real. It was actually so realistic, it's branches were being held up, as if it were meant to seem very old. I had a lot of questions, but could not ask anything to Lai Si. Then, without going straight to the lake, we came to a large building. It was also deserted with it's widows broken and the door wide open. While we were getting out of the car to go look inside, I was very puzzled as to why we would go in. When we did, I looked around bewildered at the scene. It was a giant greenhouse. There were playgrounds made out of logs and bamboo. The ground was covered with growing vines that grew on the walls and the ceiling and the rocks they had placed inside. It looked like a playground for gorilla's, but almost as if it were never used, just made, then was left alone. There were many different plants growing. Most of the plants were different kinds of vines that had been growing around the area for years and had finally taken over the whole building.

The greenhouse had another area in the back. We ducked our heads as we went through the broken door and under the broken glass. There was a very large hall way that must have been a hundred feet long and on the sides were fields of vines growing on the ground under the beautiful shining ceiling. I climbed up one of the little houses into a tiny little hut, then went back down on the other side. It was beautiful in there. It almost reminded me of what I thought heaven would look like. I thought of it as a work place for movie making. Through the building was a small stream that was still running and was beautifully preserved with a brick ditch that led the stream in a snake shape. There were little bridges that went over onto the other side to where the back of vine fields were. By the exit of the greenhouse were broken down fish tanks, as if someone had been putting their fish there for a while after fishing in the yellow waters and brought them here to cut and clean them. Many of the tanks were still full of water. In one of them, a large insect struggled to get out. It looked like a dangerous insect and I did not dare touch it without my equipment. I was going to help it out, but got this feeling to just walk away, and so, that's what I did.

We got back into the car. I had many questions about what I had just seen, but knew I wouldn't get a clear answer anyway. We drove further into the bushes and bamboo. we came to another large building with no windows or furniture inside, except for one room on the bottom left. A man lived there, but it didn't seem like an uncomfortable place to make a home. Around the building, was a lot of bamboo and a very beautiful traditionally made brick fence which surrounded the small lake where we would spend the rest of our day fishing. We met the rest of the family on the side of the lake. The man that lived in the building near by had many dogs and they had followed us seeing if we would give them some food. We sat down and talked for a while. Lai Si's son's friend had gotten his fish hook stuck in the branches above him and he wasn't able to get it down for about 25 minutes.

There was a wonderful breeze that day and I enjoyed sitting and watching them take a small fish every once in a while out of the water. They had been fishing all day to eat with their dinner tonight and worked hard to catch every single fish. After about an hour, Lai Si's son went and bought us lunch. There was chicken feet, pepper and beef dish, egg, potatoes, beef, root and garlic stew and some spicy noodles with bread. The bread and stew was all I ate. After everyone ate a chicken foot, they threw the extra meet and bones to the dogs.

As we were finishing our lunch, the man who lived in the large building by the lake, had caught a very large fish that must have been a foot and a half long. He stuck it on a large stick while still alive. Immediately, he took it back to his house to gut and clean it. Here, they don't wait for it to die before they gut it like I had learned to do. Me, Lai Si and her husband watched him as he killed the beast with his knife. He cut it open from the bottom, but the fish was still squirming with all it's might. he stuck his had in the large animal and even when the insides of the fish were falling out of its body, it still squirmed around until the man pulled with all his might and, in a strange way, pulled out the insides all together and killed the creature immediately. One of the young puppy's the man had owned carried off the bladder to eat. The man cleaned the inside. After he was done spraying the fish with large amounts of water from his hose, he laid it on it's side, took his knife, and from the down up, made clean slits into the fish.

After making the slits, he had gotten some sacks from his room, which were filled full of salt, seeds and seasonings. He filled these slits with the seeds, then he seasoned the fish and after, he had spread salt all over the animal. His friend stuck a hook in the mouth out through the gills and they both walked up the the top of the large building to let the fish soak in the sun for the day and hang. They would either sell it or cook it that night.

Seeing something like this was very interesting. It was common to do in this area of China and now, just like a Chinese man or woman I know how to fish like they do, cut the fish like they do, and how to preserve it in a very traditional way.

We had gone to meet some friends, have some tea and say hello. We got home at about 5:30 that evening. I collected some beautiful plants near a river next to the lake and will keep those as my souvenir from another great experience.

Dumplings

There is a glass wall between me and the Chinese people. It separates us from the understandings about our cultures, foods, the life we live and what we have both gone through in the past. This glass wall may never be broken. We may understand a lot about each other, but it is only a small dent compared to how much there really is to understand. Many may never break this glass, but I know it can be cracked, and if I crack it large enough, I will be able to understand much more than many others understand about this world. Just being here gives me the knowledge I need to to know things about China that I can write down and capture in my own mind. Hopefully, someday, I will pass on that knowledge to someone else, and then that person will pass it on to more and more individuals until eventually it will be as if the whole world is one organism in mind, and that glass will finally be cracked, crushed, pounded down and let us see a clear view of our so very different worlds.

It is my third week in Jinan. For the last six days I have unfortunately been ill. My throat, eyes, stomach and nose are all exhausted from pain and tired from fighting off the sickness. I am still tired and sluggish not wanting to leave my room, not wanting to do anything other than rest. Lai Si doesn't understand how bad it has all been. She filled me with medicine and thought that is what I needed. I needed to sleep, I needed to give my body a rest from the alien things I have been doing and eating. Changing my diet is a large part of the reason and it is hard to take it slower and eat things I normally do.

It is very beautiful outside, but right now,I only care about covering my eyes to block off the light and not move until the sun goes down. I got up anyway, just in case today is anything like what happened yesterday.

I had not wanted to do a thing but sleep. La Si and her husband urged me to get into some nice clothes, put make up on, dress warm and come with her outside to meet her friend.

I got dressed, but I didn't care about wearing anything nice. I washed my face but left it blank and I had no desire to look pretty today.

I went downstairs and out the door with Lai Si. We went out to the gated entrance. We saw her friend and her friends daughter coming towards us. The woman was in high heels, fancy clothes and she was wearing sun glasses. Her daughter was wearing long pants, a long sleeve shirt with a light jacket and bright blue shoes her mom got her from America. She was very tall and skinny with short black hair. she wore eye glasses and continued to text on her cell phone as she walked to meet us.

I said hello trying not to show my sick face, but Lai Si explained to them I wasn't feeling well. I thought I was going to go back to the apartment with her, but she left me with these strangers and so I walked with them to the pharmacy which was very close by. They bought warm tea that tasted very sweet. I tried to refuse but there faces told me that it was very good and that it would make me feel better. I knew it was going to be a long day with these people. They knew it too, and so through the journey, in order to keep me alive, they were going to stuff me with different medicines to keep me functioning to help their daughter practice her English. The girl was always stumbling, she was very clumsy and embarrassed to be with me for some reason. She was always afraid to say the wrong things and fought a lot with her parents telling them she doesn't want to translate, or that she can't say a certain word. She knows more English then I do Chinese, but she was very modest about it.

We first went to their home and they showed me pictures of there family when they went to Washington for a trip. Then they took me to a nice restaurant with even more food I couldn't eat. I took advantage of the fruit and they finally figured out I wasn't having the best time eating sea cucumber and jelly fish or even lambs meat. The mother began to get worried and called the pharmacy. They asked for someone who could speak English. I talked to the women on the phone. She had a strong Chinese accent I could barely understand. Finally I told her I was ok and all I wanted her to tell them was that I didn't want to eat very much and to just let me be and eat the fruit that I had on my plate. They offered me the water, but it was warm and I only felt like drinking cold water like I always did in America. I asked them if they had any ice. They brought out some just for me and it was very nice to know they wanted me to feel comfortable. Their daughters English name is Tabitha. I explained to her what a beautiful name she has and I thought it was nice to know she had such an uncommon, but pretty, name. She only ate cake and sweets for breakfast. The mom and dad got a lot of clams and see cucumbers to mix with their meal. I sat there answering any questions the parents wanted Tabitha to ask in English.

There was a chubby boy sitting across the room going back for seconds then thirds then fourths as I sat and watched him. He was very pleased with the amount he ate when he was finally finished. He had a large grin on his face. He never noticed I was there, well, he knew I was there, of course, but he showed no indication that he cared.

We went back out to the car when we were all finished eating. I had been asked if I needed to use the bathroom before we left, but I decided I would wait until they took me back to the apartment building. I realized, while we were driving, that that is not where we were going because we must have been driving for about 30 minutes. Suddenly, I couldn't hold it anymore. Tabitha was asleep next to me in the car and was the only one that could understand the word "bathroom" in English. I had to wake her up and they finally knew. We stopped at a small motel and had to walk up two floors to get to a bathroom. Tabby's mom went up with me. We finally found a bathroom, but it did not have an actual toilet just a hole in the floor, which was always what I tried to avoid. I have finally been able to get use to it and know what to do in those situations. After I had gone, I felt better but guilty I couldn't tell them earlier until the minute I really needed to.

We finally came to large park, much like the one in the Zoo or at the springs Lai Si took me to. This was another spring park. It was the largest spring display in Jinan and it was very beautifully developed. There were lots of springs and many were very big. My favorite is the black spring. It is so deep and so large, that the water is completely pitch black. It makes me wonder about the history of it and how it became so large and famous. There was also a white spring. It is mainly called the white spring because they made it that way. They put white rocks in the water which continues to make the spring flow in that shade. I think they are beautiful, but think it would be better if they were left to use naturally and not have to pay to see them. On the brick walk way around the park, Tabitha saw very small bubbles and water came out the middle of the two sidewalk bricks. She got out her camera and they all seemed very excited about it. It was funny but I can understand why they think it is so interesting.

I posed for many pictures they took of me and the springs, but my stomach made me uncomfortable and my throat began to get worse. They gave me medicine as we went through the day, but all it was was a clump of sugar and mint flavor. It did no good whatsoever. When we left, we drove even longer after that and came to a large dumpling restaurant. They asked me if I liked dumplings. I told them I do in Chinese and they were very glad about that. But as the dinner party went on, and the food kept piling on the table, I didn't see any dumplings until the very end, when I was already full. I couldn't eat most of the food and I took advantage of the mushrooms and soup. When they brought out the fish they finally asked why I stopped eating, and so I told them (in Chinese) I am full, "wo bou le." At dinner parties, they don't seem to care about this simple disadvantage the stomach has, because if you are full, ignore it and just keep on eating. That night I put my foot down and knew that if I don't want to eat something, I won't eat it, and if I want to stop, I don't care if they don't take no for an answer, they're just going to have to try and put it in my mouth for me.

Lai si has already done this, but I won't continue to let her or anybody else anymore!

So, at the end, I only had two dumplings and we finally drove back to the apartment at about 10:15 pm. Lai Si was waiting for me at the gate. I told them thank you for the experience, I hope to see you soon and good job on your English to Tabitha. They gave me their email address and I gave them mine. They will send me pictures soon and It will give you a better look at where I was all day yesterday.

Good night.